Saturday, 6 February 2016 at 17:22 with ≡
Well well, already a month into 2016 and I still haven't got my shit together yet. Hahaha. What a joke right. Hmmm, I guess in 2016, I wish I will be able to pen my thoughts down more in this little space of mine. It kinda helps with my comprehension and like talking skills too. Since I always talk to people without a beginning or ending which is bad, cause most of the time, they have no idea what in the world I am talking about.
So. 2016.
January's been a month full of thoughts. Lots of thinking. Pondering. Wondering. Figuring out what I want to do with my life. I wished I figured out my life as fast as my friends did. Or at least they had a path planned for them. Some were smart, they got scholarships, got to study overseas, or at a local uni, doing... studying. Yeah, those working, seemed to have their lives together. Work-life balance, aye. I really didn't know what I want to do. Or more like I didn't know where to start. Or how to start. What if I started and I disliked what I embarked on? I couldn't just quit in a snap. I wasn't all that confident of my portfolio for me to send it for applications to unis. Even, let's just say, even...if I got an interview for it, would I even be happy since I wasn't even satisfied with my portfolio haha.
YEAH. So these are just a fraction of what goes through my mind every single day. I can't help but be in envy of my friends who got their shit together, having the time of their lives. But yeah, gotta start somewhere. So where did I eventually decided to begin with? An internship. Again. HAHAHAHA.
Yes, I know, I should have gotten a full time job yadayada. But I already said I aint confident of what I've got, why not start small and just grow slowly later, I got a lifetime ahead of me to learn and still keep having a go at it! Plus I really think that this time, I got to give it my all. No more lazy-pazy me, no more excuses, no more this or that, I got to work for what I want. Success don't come that easily. If it was that easy, it ain't gonna be worth it. LOL, just trying to psycho myself of the shit I'm going to go through for the next few months. But we will all see how it goes right?
So, like I said, January has been a month of thoughts. Friends, family, finance, relationship-wise, I guess I kinda got a grip of myself on my life now.
Full steam ahead, February!
So. 2016.
January's been a month full of thoughts. Lots of thinking. Pondering. Wondering. Figuring out what I want to do with my life. I wished I figured out my life as fast as my friends did. Or at least they had a path planned for them. Some were smart, they got scholarships, got to study overseas, or at a local uni, doing... studying. Yeah, those working, seemed to have their lives together. Work-life balance, aye. I really didn't know what I want to do. Or more like I didn't know where to start. Or how to start. What if I started and I disliked what I embarked on? I couldn't just quit in a snap. I wasn't all that confident of my portfolio for me to send it for applications to unis. Even, let's just say, even...if I got an interview for it, would I even be happy since I wasn't even satisfied with my portfolio haha.
YEAH. So these are just a fraction of what goes through my mind every single day. I can't help but be in envy of my friends who got their shit together, having the time of their lives. But yeah, gotta start somewhere. So where did I eventually decided to begin with? An internship. Again. HAHAHAHA.
Yes, I know, I should have gotten a full time job yadayada. But I already said I aint confident of what I've got, why not start small and just grow slowly later, I got a lifetime ahead of me to learn and still keep having a go at it! Plus I really think that this time, I got to give it my all. No more lazy-pazy me, no more excuses, no more this or that, I got to work for what I want. Success don't come that easily. If it was that easy, it ain't gonna be worth it. LOL, just trying to psycho myself of the shit I'm going to go through for the next few months. But we will all see how it goes right?
So, like I said, January has been a month of thoughts. Friends, family, finance, relationship-wise, I guess I kinda got a grip of myself on my life now.
Full steam ahead, February!
Monday, 26 October 2015 at 07:31 with ≡
At this point of time, I'm kinda really glad that C is in army? You may think, "Which girlfriend would want their boyfriend to suffer?" or "ARE YOU MAD."
Yeah, but you got to see it from my point of view.
After he went army and I starting my ever dreadful working life, I became more independent and motivated. Good thing, isn't? :) I think so too! I couldn't whine whenever I wanted to him, or rant whenever I want... actually I could, but I didn't. Gotta learn to stand on my own two feet.
And it turned out well! I complained a lot less about my life and start learning to appreciate little bits of life a lot more. Like I appreciate when people give way to one another, the food my mum makes for me every breakfast and I definitely appreciate the blue skies that Singapore used to have hahahahaha. I can safely say, I think I've dethroned from my reign of Complain Queen. Hehe.
Motivated? Yes. Weird...but true! I actually thought I would be less motivated since I'm a very lazy person HAHAHA. I thought I would whine and cry about how bad my situation was when I know he's having it worse inside.. But hell no, I worked harder in fact. I felt as if I had to prove that I'm better and stronger. I always had a short-term motivation, which was his bookout every weekend... or almost every weekend. And an even shorter-term motivation, was his nightly calls. :) Without fail, I get to hear his voice every night, makes me really happy. No matter how short or how bad the connection would get, seeing his name flash on my phone.... I get really excited. Excited to the point, I nearly dropped my phone a few times. I really glad C calls hahahahahhahahaha. Well, as for long term goal, just happy that this entire army thing would end in 2 years' time and we can move on to our next phase of life together :)
Army isn't a bad thing after all. I've seen him grow and glow and I hope he keeps growing in character too. :) Sure, it isn't smooth sailing, but why focus on the negatives when positivity is all you need. HUEHUEHEUHEUHEUEHUE.
Just a thought I had to share. Haha.
Till then.
Yeah, but you got to see it from my point of view.
After he went army and I starting my ever dreadful working life, I became more independent and motivated. Good thing, isn't? :) I think so too! I couldn't whine whenever I wanted to him, or rant whenever I want... actually I could, but I didn't. Gotta learn to stand on my own two feet.
And it turned out well! I complained a lot less about my life and start learning to appreciate little bits of life a lot more. Like I appreciate when people give way to one another, the food my mum makes for me every breakfast and I definitely appreciate the blue skies that Singapore used to have hahahahaha. I can safely say, I think I've dethroned from my reign of Complain Queen. Hehe.
Motivated? Yes. Weird...but true! I actually thought I would be less motivated since I'm a very lazy person HAHAHA. I thought I would whine and cry about how bad my situation was when I know he's having it worse inside.. But hell no, I worked harder in fact. I felt as if I had to prove that I'm better and stronger. I always had a short-term motivation, which was his bookout every weekend... or almost every weekend. And an even shorter-term motivation, was his nightly calls. :) Without fail, I get to hear his voice every night, makes me really happy. No matter how short or how bad the connection would get, seeing his name flash on my phone.... I get really excited. Excited to the point, I nearly dropped my phone a few times. I really glad C calls hahahahahhahahaha. Well, as for long term goal, just happy that this entire army thing would end in 2 years' time and we can move on to our next phase of life together :)
Army isn't a bad thing after all. I've seen him grow and glow and I hope he keeps growing in character too. :) Sure, it isn't smooth sailing, but why focus on the negatives when positivity is all you need. HUEHUEHEUHEUHEUEHUE.
Just a thought I had to share. Haha.
Till then.
Sunday, 18 October 2015 at 03:30 with ≡
So just yesterday I caught Bridge of Spies with C. We had been anticipating this movie since we though the trailer was good. Well, it was fannnnnntassssssssticcccc. I loved it.
The movie was about an American lawyer who was recruited by the CIA during the Cold War to help rescue a pilot detained in the Soviet Union. To me, it was interesting enough. Cause anything show that had a war in it, was good.
The movie was about an American lawyer who was recruited by the CIA during the Cold War to help rescue a pilot detained in the Soviet Union. To me, it was interesting enough. Cause anything show that had a war in it, was good.
So besides Tom Hanks, being a really charismatic lawyer in the movie, I loved Mark Rylance who acted as Rudolf Abel. His character was portrayed to be so calm and collected... and unfazed. Did I mentioned that this is a Steven Spielberg film? Ahhhhh, thinking about it now still makes me so happy that it was such a good movie to indulge in hehe.
So yes, back to Abel, cause he was so calm and collected, even when the CIA caught him as he was assumed to be a spy. Then there was this scene ( in the picture above ), where they were about to have a law suit to determine what will happen to Abel. And Tom Hanks asked him, "Do you ever not worry?" and his reply was "Does it help?".
At that point of time, it just struck me ah, being a really paranoid and worrisome person myself, why have I never asked myself, if all these worrying is ever going to help. Would it even change the circumstances. The answer was no. SO YEAH, BASICALLY IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE WITH A LOT OF LEARNING POINTS FOR ME. How like people have a firm stand especially in what they believe in, or like we should give people the benefit of the doubt cause they are just human like us. And even if we trust, we need to be careful about who we trust and such. So on and so forth, so many things I can talk about this movie.
At that point of time, it just struck me ah, being a really paranoid and worrisome person myself, why have I never asked myself, if all these worrying is ever going to help. Would it even change the circumstances. The answer was no. SO YEAH, BASICALLY IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE WITH A LOT OF LEARNING POINTS FOR ME. How like people have a firm stand especially in what they believe in, or like we should give people the benefit of the doubt cause they are just human like us. And even if we trust, we need to be careful about who we trust and such. So on and so forth, so many things I can talk about this movie.
The casting was great, the lighting and everything. I love itttttttt. Just that some parts of the movie were slightly long and boring. But overall, still a 5 star film for me. Love it love it love it. Hehe.
In my opinion, this movie is like on par with one of my all time favourites, The Grand Budapest Hotel. Ahhhh. Love it. Okay I'll save my ramblings for another time.
In my opinion, this movie is like on par with one of my all time favourites, The Grand Budapest Hotel. Ahhhh. Love it. Okay I'll save my ramblings for another time.
Till then
Saturday, 10 October 2015 at 06:53 with ≡
Such timely reminder when I scrolled past a friend's twitter update, yes yes yes. Some people are really.... just........out of the world crazy. But what can I do, all I gotta do is tolerate, tolerate, tolerate... sigh.
Moving on, I can't wait to see C tomorrow! I really wonder how am I going to cope with just calls for the next few months + another year. I really hate to see you leave for camp each time, it's almost like someone taken a huge bite of my corn cob and never returned my corn cob to me. :< Hope I'll get used to this situation soon!
Met up with Xinyi, Claudia and Bernad for dinner at Jurong last thursday! Uni seems really busy and draining the life out of them though, but I am happy to see their faces again hehe! Love this oreo bingsu!!! Super yummy to me, cause so much oreo crumbs. My hand wouldn't and couldn't stop digging into this delight hehe :> I finished it in the end too HAHAHAHA.
Just yesterday, I've decided I needed a haircut. My ends were terribly dry and frizzy. But I loved having long hair. Went to the hair salon with the intention to only cut 2 inches off. Then being a lazy pig and wanting to save money till the next hair trim, I told her to cut around 3-4 inches off! Apprehensive of the results, but when she blowed my hair at the end! I guess I can say I didn't regret it! :)
My hair felt soooooo light and fun to swing around. And it was nice cause it was so straight that day hehe. I loved it, I kept snapping selfies wooooo.
This hair cut definitely need some time for me to get used to! So far, still loving it and I received so many compliments from people which made me really happy for such a change!
Had a good catch up with Elaine, really happy that we still make a point to meet and talk. Grateful for such a constant in my life :) There's never a dull moment with her!
We were skeptical of the place at first cause the number of bad reviews we read... heh, explained for itself. But DAMN, the food was so good?! I loved mine so much. The sauce was really good. Definitely going back for the eggs too hehe!
There were so many cats in the area, gotta snap one of these lazy bum bums.
We explored around the area too and found out that the houses were actually abandoned?! Heard from her that they were going to tear down the place too ): WHHHHYYYYYYY. They were so nostalgic! Totally loved the place. So serene and quiet.
So that's pretty much my life this week. Plus lots of work, work and more work. Never ending work. Too much work. And the haze.... gotta stop. I can NEVER recover from my flu and cough + that occasional fever. Yikes.
Till then!
Friday, 2 October 2015 at 09:32 with ≡
Love is...
I pondered a lot on this topic for the longest time, there were so many things that come into the picture when you start talking about it. Love can come in a form of a person, a pet, a hobby, food or whatever. I just can't put my finger on it as to what love is to me.
I believe love has two sides to it.
Maybe let me just start by talking about the positive side of love.
Love is patient, love is kind, love is pretty much unconditional. Love brings me joy and happiness and I derive satisfaction when I see the people around me, contented. Love lets me understand that it's okay to give and expect nothing in return. You can do a lot of things when you love a certain someone or something. Love is FANTASTIC at this point.
But what I don't really understand is that being human, we do need to feel appreciated from time to time, we need to feel loved as well. If we keep giving and giving, wouldn't we be exhausted, wouldn't we just run out of it one day?
And if you just love something/someone regardless of their actions, wouldn't you be considered naive if one day, they decide to just take advantage of your love that you've so generously given to them?
That also brings me to the negative side of love. Love is pain. Love is confusing.
If you continuously love someone despite being in pain ( physically or mentally ), is it right to claim that you're just plain stupid for being taken advantage of or it's so sacrificial ( because you're doing it despite you being in so much pain? ).
Love is also confusing. People always say each and every one of us have different ways of loving someone. And my way may be different from yours. And the others from the latter. So on and so forth. So how do I know if your way of loving is of the same status as compared to someone else's way? Is there really a measure to such things?
Is love really a great thing after all? Or are humans complicating this issue of love wayyyy too much.
I may have ended up with more questions about this topic rather than discussing it. Heh. I'm just really... maybe I think too much haha.
Labels: thinking tank, thoughts
